It’s only a few months since the last blog, so, you’re probably thinking not much has happened since then, and… well, I guess, in reality, it hasn’t. Much to Hannah’s disappointment. But, to be fair, the majority of my last blog were events from quite a bit before it. Although, it’s worth mentioning, there was quite a lot of things happening in the background that, at the time, weren’t really appropriate to talk about. That is, of course, until now. So, by that logic, once again, this blog, will contain things that are, both, recent, and, were events that were happening during the last one. Keeping up, so far? Good.

So, where’s this all going? Well, we’ve not gone back to the Philippines. We’ve not had some far-out exciting adventure. So, if you’re here for that, you’re probably best skipping this one. What this about though… well, I think it’s about time I caught you up on the boring stuff. Mostly, in terms of a progression forward in my career, a few steps in the other half, and, generally, all the continued fight to allow Hannah’s second, and, final, Spouse Visa, to go through smoothly. So, yeah, this one’s all about me. Now, I know what you’re thinking, isn’t this supposed to be “Ben’s Blog”, anyway, so, doesn’t that make it always about you? Well… let’s just … move on, shall we.

An over 6 year working journey comes to an end

As you’ll be aware, by now, my personal blogs began on BEHANN covering the journey of me and Hannah. However, obviously, I had blogs way before then, which, of course, remain on the RKUK Archive. For those old-school people, you’ll recall that I did have a blog running for quite some time long before, which kinda just… stopped, abruptly. Well, this was because my ex was crazy and didn’t like me mentioning it. But, if we were in a situation where I did have a blog at that time, I would’ve been able to mention when I started working at a certain Telecoms company. As far as Hannah is concerned, it’s all she’s ever known me do. Of course, I rarely mix two much external work in to my blogs, for obvious reasons, so, whilst some things will be vague, on a personal level, there’s a few things I would like to mention as it’s brought me to where I am today.

As with many jobs, I started off pretty basic, then, over the years, found my way up the ladder. Then, before I knew it, I was on a relatively decent wage, considering. Considering, meaning, despite the increasing politics entering the company, and, shall we say, some, questionable, in-house decisions. The kind of decisions which led to the end coming sooner than anticipated. Like most jobs, you turn up, do, then, go. I’m not the kind of person who obsesses over work outside of working hours. Not because I’m not good at my job, or anything like that, but, to me, it’s like, why bother? This is your life, stop wasting it over something that doesn’t define you. But, even in that mindset, there comes a trigger that takes that away. The irony of that intended mindset, of course, I always find myself being the better one on a team, so, end up being the one that finds themselves having to cover for the (intentionally) lazy asses. Then, you run into the trap of… ohh, he did that all that… let’s just use him again, and, again, and show zero appreciation. Something which grew and grew into something that became incredibly frustrating.

In the end, I’d covered over 6 years there. Obviously, after being there as long as I was, in the end, I knew, or, at least, was aware, of everyone really. Though, if I’m honest, most were, to put it kindly, not people I would choose to engage with, outside of work. I think that’s the easiest way to define the difference between an acquaintance and a friend, when it comes to work. Great, well done, you’ve a friend at work… but, would you want to see them outside of work? Answer to that question, becomes, whether they really are friends. Having said all that, though, there was a small group of people who certainly made working there more bearable. Although, with the changing politics in the company, people retiring / leaving, with the annoyances continuing, it certainly made things more challenging.

The biggest and most notable change came when departments started to move offshore. More specifically, the department that I, and the team that was a part of it, and, had a big involvement in its success, was closed. If I was to give you names of people I remember the most from the company as a whole, they’d all be people who were in that team. (with only one exception) Our team covered the entirety of Scotland, but, when it soon became clear that this was to be no more, we suddenly found ourselves all scattered away to other things, moved in to a group of others and told to deal with it. That has a big impact on how people feel working there, and, I found myself, surprisingly, impacted by this too. Which is surprising, really, as I’m not much of a people person. Then, add on to that, an unnecessary tightening of rules, for no reason; the sudden unpaid breaks, that were paid for over 5 years, meaning, we were, all of a sudden, having to work an extra 30 minutes, and the rest, all were adding up to a much less happy workforce. Then came the turning point that really flipped the script, VPL.

VPL 1 – Where’s everyone gone.

As I mentioned, I was pretty close to the team Scotland. So, when that became less-so, I think it’s fair to say, even though that wasn’t the only reason, a lot of people were kind-of done with working there. The whole vibe, the whole way of doing everything had just gone out of alignment, and, was never really fixed. A lot more people talking about where they see themselves in a year or so, didn’t include here. But, then, came a huge announcement; lay offs. I mean, sure, it was VPL, or, voluntary paid leave, as it’s known, so it’s leave with a decent Pay package, but, it changed everything. Obviously, voluntary is the big word here, but, you know at the back of your mind, if they didn’t get enough, it might not be. But, whilst I held my fire, deciding not to go ahead with it, I found myself, both, disappointed, and, sad, at just how many actually did. To be specific, how many out of the ol’ Scotland team.

I can think of 6 people, who left during this particular VPL, all of which were some of the people I got on with best and were closest with. So, inevitably, it had a huge impact on me. Don’t get me wrong, some stuck around, but, it left us all with barely, I think, 4 or 5 from the og. Scotland team left. Plus, as I mentioned before, we were all scattered around, so, barely had even much ability to have communication with many. The closest two leftovers from that were Kim and Ai-Ling, for me. Everyone else, though, gone. As I mentioned before, I really didn’t expect this to have the impact it did on me, but, yeah, it really did. But, that wasn’t the only thing that changed.

A job is not just about the work itself, and, even the people there, it’s about the culture it presents to people. This falls in the hands of Management and above. This just fell apart completely after everyone had gone. April onwards, it was like working at a completely different place. We were moved back to all the way down to Floor 1, thrown away from people we got on with, to this “huge renovation” that was announced for Floor 1 before we got there… which was, in reality, cleaning the room and adding a sign up. Of course despite attempting to claim they were all hot-desks, everyone still found their permanent seats. Though, for some people that would be rather frustrating, when some that may of been late, found there seat taken, I used to feel sorry for one in particular who had a lot of issues, who will come up very shortly. But, overall, I spent most of my time away from people, in the end. Ai-Ling sat nearby, but she was part-time so her madness personality was only able to be really experienced twice a week. Then, Kim is very intensely into her work, so, it was that or family chat. It did open opportunities to catch up with some other people who I’d not had chance to, including one I really should have done long before, Jean. My first memory of Jean, was when Hannah had this odd idea of bringing in some Philippine snacks. I’d always seen her around, but once it was clear she was a fellow Filipina, it really should have opened up more dialog, but, that didn’t really happen until the last, say, 6 months. Plus, obviously, being with Hannah, made conversation come very easily. So, yeah, those three had the biggest impact on me in my final year, for sure.

So, whilst the job kept going, the changes that were made by the higher ups, plus, the change in the air, really, impacted the job for me. And, despite, trying to make connections there, and, have a laugh, I was finding myself getting very low, emotionally, whilst I was there. Something I can confidently say I don’t think I’ve ever experienced before. Can’t really easily explain it. I found myself hanging around the top couple of Floors, on my own, despite them being closed up, just to give myself some space and reset my mind. That would become how I did breaks. So, I think once it dawned on me that was how I was feeling, and, acting, that was rather alarming.

Having said all that, I’ve always been a person who does enjoy my own space, sometimes. It’s probably the one thing about me that Hannah will never understand. She’s, quite literally, in this regard, the opposite in that regard, and loves a forever social environment. Well, they do say opposites attract. Of course being a Filipina, means Hannah, incorrectly, sees it as me avoiding her and thinks it means I don’t want to spend time together. It’s not. It’s just me and my own space for a while every day. That’s all I need, sometimes. Once I have that, I’m fine. But this peaked when I was in that office. I’m not saying I was on edge, or anything, but, I was clearly ready to be gone, too, at this point. I remember seeing a couple of friends I had leaving, and it just stuck in my mind, ever since, the, potential, regret, of not taking it then knowing it would probably never happen again.

Then, it happened…again.

VPL 2 – We take a risk, but will it pay off

The idea of VPL, or, at least, how it was sold to us, was that this is an opportunity that won’t come again “for a very long time”. So, it was rather a surprise to find that, barely 8 months later… another one. Identical advert, identical message, to the point where some pages weren’t even edited from the last one. I don’t even think the first post had the right year. The bigger change was that applications, interestingly, ran for a lot longer than the first one did. Although, that was barely a week, at least this ran for about two months.

I was torn. Do I do it? Is it even worth it to do it? I’d so many questions floating in my head. I remembered the feeling of regret seeing fellow colleagues leave and find other jobs, with their payout in tact, and thinking that could be me. All whilst another voice in my head was like, don’t be silly, stay and just keep the status quo. The thing that turned it, for me, was a few things. Some legit, one, annoying. Because, annoyingly, Hannah wasn’t paying attention to everything I was saying whilst I was questioning whether to or not, so, instead of doing that, she just kept always saying, “yes, go for it” 😑😑😑 I wish I was joking. Honestly, when she’s on her phone, you don’t exist. Then, she’s the cheek to complain if I go on mine whilst I’m essentially waiting for her to get off her own. Typical, hypocrisy that makes a woman, a woman, eh. Thankfully, though, for my own sanity, there were, actually, a lot, of reasons why I did, indeed, choose to go ahead with it. Here’s the big ones;

A change of culture: I think the easiest way to put this, is the feeling was all wrong. Things change and evolve everywhere, of course they do, but this was just, everything. Almost like upper management were looking at everything on a checklist and going, hmm, how can I make this worse for the employer? Add that to, I hate to patronise, but, the ones that know what they’re going disappearing, whilst the others remained, created a culture of; where doing this today that’s completely different to how it’s worked for years….. ohhh wait, 3 days later, forget that, back to the norm. Repeat, repeat.
Lack of appreciation: This sounds really petty on paper, but let me clarify. I don’t expect, or, even want, a pat on the back and a woohoo every time I do my job, however, when you’re the guy who’s doing the equivalent of 5 others (mostly due to their laziness or lack of giving a …) it becomes increasingly deflating when there’s zero recognition. I recall one moment when an entire second office were unable to do Permissions, and I, and just I, was assigned to do them all. I did, but, that kind of puts it into perspective. When you’re getting paid the same as someone being a lazy bugger, than someone doing everything, it speaks for itself.
Everyone’s gone: Our group of the Scotland lot, clearly was a lot more impactful on that job than I’d realised. It’s that classic case of, you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Don’t get me wrong, many remained, and, ended up being the single thing(s) that kept me sane there. But, I don’t think I recovered.
I wasn’t happy: I always used to say that the second you become unhappy in your job, outside of work, because of work, that’s the time to leave. I’ve done that in previous jobs, and, well, external barriers were the only reason I hadn’t already. So much more to consider now with Hannah here.
I was ready to go, anyway: I was ready. I was, in fact, considering going, before the announcement of VPL. So, in that regard, it was a way of going, plus, compensation.

I could probably think of a million more when the blog comes out, but, those are the main ones. So, yeah, after warning Managers I’d do it, in December, I did it. I, for the first time in my life, decided to put myself first above everything else, and, took a risk. I’d done it. I would leave March 31st 2026. Obviously, as you’ll recall from previous blogs, in the midst of all this, I’d be traveling to the Philippines, using all my remaining holidays, which did cut it all off at the end. But, it wasn’t all smooth, ohh no.

Date changed to September 30th ‼️‼️‼️

I’ve experienced some drama in my life before, but, this one took the piss. Yep, signed up for VPL, which, if anyone doesn’t know, is a one-way thing, you’re in with no return once you sign up. Then, Christmas happens, then, in late January to February, I had a very stressful time when they announced a complete change of the leaving date. Going from March 31st, to September 30th, a whole 6 extra months to work. Now, I know what you’re thinking, wait, what about you? And, yes, clearly, I’m not there now, so, did I go without a penny? Well, I had only one option really, fight it! … No, really.

Most reading this will be thinking, why? What’s the big deal? Why does working an extra 6 months in a job you’ve been in for over 6 years that you can do with your eyes shut, matter. Well, it all comes down to purely TYPICAL timescales. If this was next year, it’d be fine, the previous year, even, it wouldn’t been fine. But, this all comes back to Hannah’s Visa application which fell around March-April 2027. One of the big main requirements, of course, is Income. And, the need for 6 months of employment payslips. Finishing at the end of September, would make that literally impossible to, not only, get a job in time that suits, but, have 6 payslips by March.

In the end I had a pretty ugly fight with my Manager’s Manager, (who I’ve no idea how he got to that position), his Manager, and pretty much anyone at level of rank who would listen whether they had to or not, to get this changed! This was NOT what I agreed to, and this was, quite literally, life or death. If this went ahead how this had been changed, Hannah would be deported with her Visa revoked, simple as that. If Hannah was not in a situation like that, then, yes, I’d be like everyone else, and just go uhhh … fine. But, I was not in that situation.

What did I want? Well, I wanted it over. I was getting so worried and stressed, that I was like, look, F… VPL, just cancel the damn thing as you’ve changed it unreasonably and I’ll just keep on. But, as you know, that’s not an option. Well, obviously it is, but, companies like to think contracts matter, sometimes. In the end, after a lot of fighting, we reached a conclusion in February. I, alone, would be leaving March 31st 2026, as originally agreed, but, to add extra awkwardness to it all, everyone else would still leave September 30th. I was told to keep it to myself, and everything else, which made it even more awkward. It also buggered up my last day, for that reason. I didn’t want a big leaving do, but, having to be sneaky about it, made it feel like I was being fired, rather than, leaving. So, not great.

Thank you those who kept me sane;

There’s a few people who I want to make extra recognition for, from those days. I think I already mentioned the ones who left in 2025 in my previous blogs, but, these were the ones that kept going after with us. As a bit of a thank you before I headed off to Philippines before returning to my final days, I decided to get a small select group of people something special. I ended up making them a customised Letter, and some lovely M&S Milk Chocolate. I think, it’s fair to say, they appreciated it. It was something just to say thank you and give them that recognition. I wrote about 7 letters for people, but, in this blog, I’m just going to recognise 3 people. Hint; they’ve already been mentioned.

KIM

You know Grandparents are typically the one people that seem to know everyone, no matter where you take them. Well, Kim, as far as this place is concerned, is more recognised than the CEO. She’s very full-on with her work, as I mentioned before, but, all in all, was someone who could be relied on if you needed her. I will never forget the time when we were talking about me and Hannah’s, at the time, upcoming, Wedding. She showed such an interest in the unique culture over there and embraced it in ways she really didn’t have to, getting me a decorated T-shirt with money attached to it, just like they do in the Philippines. And, whilst it was delivered as a team thing, I knew, for a fact, it was all Kim.

I know she gets emotional when anyone leaves, I remember, in particular when Raja left last year she was all teary when he said “I’m just going for my last break”, but, it was also sweet to see when I was heading out. She was one of the very few people there I felt like I could really speak my life to, so, she knew what the plan was, but, also, understood my incredible frustrations near the end. So, yeah, huge appreciation for her, in the end.

Of course, she lives and breathes the place, so, I think even if everything when crumbling down, you’d still find her there keeping what’s left up and running.

AI-LING

Ai-Ling, where do I even start with her? She’s one of the oddest, but, hilarious people I met there. I always say the funniest people are the one’s who don’t mean to be funny. Likewise, the least funniest people are those who think they’re funny. You get the idea. She was purely the first. Also, I’ll get to what she got me when I left, but, it was one of those, only Ai-Ling would do that, moments.

It’s funny, I was always aware of her when I first started, but, it wasn’t until about a couple years before until we really ever had any capacity to interact when she joined up the Scotland team. Then, there was an activity that forced us together like prisoners! … OK, not that dramatic, but, that certainly was when we became good friends there. Although, every time I spotted her in Sainsbury’s, she always seemed to never notice, I’m going to blame her age, to be nice 😁. What was I getting at Sainsbury’s, or, elsewhere? Ice Cream, of course. There was a moment during out team where I always got myself a Magnum in my Lunch, even if it was Winter, and she ended up being one that was forced to get one when I figured out it was cheaper to get a 3 pack, than 1. That was it, then, it just stuck. I think most people will remember one Christmas with Ai-Ling, where their was this weird contraption that we all got that contained multiple different sweets, including Smarties and some other old-school stuff, that certainly had a lot of sugar and others in them, and, Ai-Ling somehow got high off them. She was as high as a Kite. It was hilarious. I’ll always remember that moment.

Whilst I can’t say this about the others, even before VPL was announced, Ai-Ling had already announced and processed her retirement. Frustratingly, she was not able to get VPL, as she’d already finished that which, I’m not been funny, but, I’d be VERY mad about that, cos she’ll of lost out. But, this meant, that, whilst I have put her on the list of considerable people from there, if I didn’t take VPL, she’d be done by now anyway. I’m sure she sure ain’t missing the place.

JEAN

Last, but, certainly, not least, I just have to mention Jean. I feel like I never really had enough time with Jean, as I think, we were really on the way to becoming such good friends there. It kind of makes no sense, too, as we had such a strong connection with the Philippines as, yes, she’s originally a Filipina too. Sure, she’s not a Cebuano / Bisaya originally, but, she can speak it. As I mentioned before, even when Scotland was still a thing, I had an early interaction with her during Hannah bringing in some Philippine stuff, but, it really was a … ohhh hey. It wasn’t until we were all scattered around when the changes happened that we were able to really speak, thanks to Ai-Ling getting us both involved, and I’m really glad she did. She’s sweet, got a crazy side hidden in there, and, was such a laugh and I could really talk to her about everything Philippines, then, everything else. In the end, with all the unnecessary drama, she was also incredibly supportive. It’s just such a shame we never were able to have a longer friendship there.

Ironically, as we were talking about seeing people outside of work, earlier, barely a week after my last day, I was with Hannah on the way to watching a Movie, and we popped into Jollibee to get Hannah something real quick, and, boom, there she was. She was with two of her friends, so, made it a bit impossible to chat, but it was clear she was hoping me and Hannah would’ve joined them, but, I had to head off, but, she shouted my name at the start and gave a goodbye at the end, but, I doubt I’ll ever see her again. Was kind of wild it happened so soon after leaving though. But, yeah, that was Jean. Also, just as I am posting this, she’s only just accepted a follow request from about, ohhh I don’t know, a million months ago, so, there’s that 😅.

The awkward goodbye, with gifts.

The last month of working there was, actually, quite funny really. I spent about a few days to a week there, then, just galavanted off to the Philippines. I came back just in time for March 30th (Monday) which I ended up doing at home, next to nothing I did, then came the day itself, March 31st (Tuesday). I was in for a few hours, then, that was it, before I knew it, I was gone and everything was over. Probably would’ve been even quicker if my Manager wasn’t delayed in an Appointment. Though, in reality, I was, kind of, glad it was delayed, as it gave me a chance to give, the few I cared about, a real final goodbye. Although, in reality, there wasn’t many in. Eventually, my Manager did arrive, then it wasn’t long until things transitioned to the end. But, not before a few little surprise gifts.

First was from Ai-Ling. Apparently, she was looking to get me a customised Magnum as I used to have a reputation for having Ice Cream, even when it was, to some, cold. But, I think what she actually got, was even better. It’s a fry, and, oddly, it even feels like one. Well, it feels like a cold one, but, you get what I mean. Really appreciated it, it was such a very typical thing that only she would ever think of. Which is wild, as that was her unplanned second choice. I was kind of sad that my final days didn’t include when she was in, as I’d of loved to give a goodbye on that day, but, that was just how it had turned out.

The only annoying part of this was arriving home, afterwards, Hannah decided to go “ooo, what’s that give me”, and… literally broke it. I was so fucked off. Thankfully, it was able to be glued, but, at the time, I was so annoyed.

Who let anyone know I was a Pokémon guy?

Then, it was the team goodbye moment… well, not really… but, kinda. I finally got to experience what it’s like to get a team filled-out Card with my name on it. Jean sent me one in return for the one I’d got her, too, bless her, though the Cadbury’s she got me was perhaps less appreciated. But, I also got a whole bag full of stuff. Got a Mug, water bottle and, oddly, some socks, with a motivational quote. I don’t drink warm drinks, so, probably not going to get much use, but, hey, I’ll always wear free socks 😁. I also got a pretty cool Pokémon gift, they got me a full Pikachu Lego set. I’d love to tell you, as it’s been a few months since I got this, that it’s now all built and completed but… Look, I’d love to have completed it, but, I just don’t have the patience, so, yeah, it’s still in the box. Keep telling myself I’ll do it, but, I doubt it, but, maybe we’ll see.

Then, came the moment where I was finally escorted out of the building for the very last time. Kim and two Managers, all took me to the door and slowly walked out. I looked back, almost expecting many people to wave to, but, … and I think that was one of those key moments where one of the reasons I took VPL in the first place was very clear … there was no one there. As expected, Kim was emotional, I remember her being that way last year with the last VPL, so it was expected, but, sweet. Then, the final moment, after reception, walking outside on the street, giving everyone one last hug, then, walking off. That was it. We were done.

There’s always something weird whenever you leave a job. Doesn’t matter if you’re fired, laid off, of, even leave yourself for no reason, the final day always has that strange feeling. When you walk out of somewhere you’ve been going to for a long period of time, knowing you will never step back there again, then, that journey home that fills your mind with reflection. It’s mad, really, but, let’s be honest, we all do it. There was something that was niggling me, though…

The annoying shift that could’ve prevented it all

You will recall that one of my reasons for taking the VPL was a lack of appreciation. Let me be clear, though, I’m not wanting a tap on the shoulder, I’m not wanting a “oohh, well done”, shtick. I just want some appreciation for what I, sometimes, just, end up finding myself given. One thing that really annoyed me, was, after, I’d say, the start of February, that seemed to change. I did some favours, then, got rewarded and thanked. I did extra work, same thing. It was so alien to be seeing that level of appreciation.

Of course, the most annoying aspect of this, to me, was, if you’d of treated me like this a whole year prior, or, otherwise, I might have never even took VPL. No, really, it impacted me that much. But, hey, it’s all too late now. It’s obvious, at this point, I did take VPL, and then went straight to a bit of a break before tackling the world outside.

A strategic break, with it comes some wastes of time…

It’s a funny feeling when you intentionally leave a job. When you get fired, or, if everything just ends naturally, there’s that sense of urgency to put things right and find something new as soon as possible. When you intentionally have a plan in your head and a roadmap, it’s completely different. This was how the months that followed took place.

In my last blog, I covered looking after the Dog, spending a week at home with Hannah whilst my family went abroad, and, more, etc. This was all in the middle of this rut of a few months. The original plan was fairly simple, take a month or so break, then, ease my way into finding something to replace. Of course, what you plan, expect, and, hope for, versus the world of reality aren’t always compatible. But, can only try, right. The plan was, I’d set myself high expectations, then, obviously, if time became smaller, I’d have to lower them. Admittedly, I thought this wouldn’t be quite as hard as it turned out to be, which led to a few moments of potential regret about taking VPL, in the first place. Though, to be honest, I think that just comes with any moment of uncertainty. Interviews come and go, you reject a few that are a joke, then you find yourself wondering if that cycle will ever end.

Sometimes I really do think that the whole job process remains just absolutely pathetic. I mean, this is 2026, and the whole application to interview, to decision, process, hasn’t changed one bit. Why is that? Qualifications mean nothing, to the point where you get further from lying with select words and experience. I’ve always found it so frustrating when you see the majority of successful people have got their from bragging, bullshitting, to, even worse, getting a chance they never deserved to get. And don’t get me started on the pathetic rubbish and poison that is diversity and inclusion, where places simply hire people if they’re just not white. Great. All these decades of fighting for equality all thrown in the bin.

…Anyway, rant over. Thankfully, some things did come along, and everything went… as you’d expect… perfectly smoothly, right? … No. This is me, remember, you know it’s not gonna be smooth. Let’s get to that, though, shall we.

A scam of a wage

You know when you just know, during an interview, that you’ve got a job. You just have that feeling, right? Well, that’s, typically, a good feeling if it is a job you want. When it’s not one you want, or, when there’s something you find out that’s not that great. Then, it’s not so good. This was true with Square 4. That wasn’t the biggest frustration, though. Ohh no.

There’s a big difference between getting a job you like, or don’t like, than getting a job that turns out to be very different once they say yes. So, what difference are we talking here? Ohh I don’t know, how about £4,000 difference in wage. Yyyeahhh. So, yeah, on one hand, here we are finding out that we are (most likely) getting a job, during an interview that should, just about, be above the Wage requirement for Hannah’s Visa, to, then, find out in the wage is going to be slumped down below it. Great…

Then, on top of that, I was in a position where I couldn’t really refuse it, just in case. So, there I was, accepting a job that I knew wouldn’t be enough, but, at least, we’d be getting something extra coming in, in the meantime. In the end, it turns out that we could, if we had to, still use this job for Hannah’s Visa, but, we’d have to run through a number of compromises, such as including Hannah’s wage, and, having quite a chunk of Savings untouched! If that had to be, that would be. Though, I think it was clear before I even took once step in the building that I was never going to fully invest myself in to this.

Turning up to, and, training, in a job I never wanted.

I remember the first day, quite vividly. I walked into the building, which was, honestly, just a generic office and education hub. A few floors, some that had certain rooms that multiple companies simply rented, then, just resting space. Although, when I turned up, the company I was going for was the only one on the floor. That would change, going forward. At first it was just me and this young girl, then, eventually, more arrived, before the same guy from the Interview popped his head around thus beginning the bull you get at the start of most jobs.

The training was, dreadful. There’s no two ways about it. But, surprisingly, the people, who I’d dismissed from the first day or so, weren’t actually too bad. By people, of course, I meant the other 5 that started when I did. They all had something about themselves that made them unique. Some, in good ways, some, not so much. But, they were all individual, and, by the close of the training, we’d all made quite a good friendship between us. Despite all starting the same day, we were all actually, mostly, doing completely different roles, so, in the end, we’d all be separated, for the most part, outside of breaks etc.

The job itself, on paper, is actually very easy. It’s just, we haven’t really been taught it correctly. You know when something is really easy to do, but there’s always that one person that wants it to seem a lot more difficult to seem more impressive doing it… that’s how the training felt. It was like a business school 101, on how to make 2+2 feel like some mathematical anomaly of an equation. Stupid, really. The biggest trouble, for me, though, was that I just couldn’t get myself to care, enough. I already knew that even in the worst case scenario where I’ve to stick at it until Hannah’s Visa is applied and approved, I’d be leaving as soon as possible. Plus, this is the first time I’ve ever got a new job, whilst, simultaneously, still continuing looking for another. It just never felt permanent to me, because, well, it never was going to be.

One thing I will say, I’ve never had so many biscuits in my life, whilst at work. For some reason, they don’t just have facilities for basics like Coffee and Tea, they have an order of a selection of biscuits. Nothing special, it’s the lower end brand versions of traditional classics, but, well, if it’s free you might as well. I found myself with the custard creams, most of the time. It was also nice to have a working environment with working aircon, something my last job couldn’t say with confidence. Though, near the end, a certain someone in the starting group decided to be a wuss and constantly request it switched off … ugh, there’s always one.

The most frustrating part of the training was having a group of us 6, in a room, all training remotely, so, no one physically came in, doing multiple different areas of the job, whilst being, simultaneously, together. It just made it all feel completely misaligned. Nothing felt planned correctly. Everything was compromised. Us 6 in Leeds trying to figure out work from a bunch of others based on some far away place, who’d no idea how to train whatsoever. What I can only describe as choreographed chaos. But, despite all of this, the 6 of us were actually a pretty decent close-nit group, I’d say.

A close-nit group of 6

So, who were the 6. Well, one is me, obviously, which leaves 5 others. In the job, including me, there was 3 guys and 3 women. Good ol’ diversity and inclusion, eh. So, there was me, Jake and Gian, alongside, Aleesha, Sidra and Esther. It’s fair to say a lot of unique personalities, but, all in all, I’d say a fun group of people. Now, it would be embarrassing to go over them one by one and… nah, let’s do it 😁.

Whilst the first day was quite, I’ll be honest, pointless, and where I was really thinking I wasn’t going to get on with anyone, that, eventually changed. Everyone, kind of, found their group, and, choice. Sidra and Esther had an immediate bond, and, remained together, for the most part. Gian was always the crazy one kind of getting involved with everyone, and, the one I found the best connection with was Jake. Then there was Aleesha, who’s a bit weird, and just was kind of there being odd, most of the time. She’d be the only one put into a different room, once the job fully started, so, 6 became 5, for the most part, fairly quickly.

Night out after the first Payday

After a couple, to a few, weeks, into the job, the decision was made (for some reason), that we should all go out to celebrate the end of the training. You remember, the training where no one knew anything more than they knew before we started… yeah, that one. Well, due to a sea of reasons, and, a required compromise, just in case I couldn’t get a new job, I wouldn’t be able to until, at least, the first pay day. So, the date was decided.

Well, it was, until it wasn’t. Hannah decided she wanted to go somewhere and watch a movie, then, she decided that we might as well do something on Saturday, so, that day was cancelled, even though Hannah eventually worked that day …. yeah. Eventually, the following Friday, after work, was decided. Obviously, as far as the work group was concerned, I was just undecided and making excuses.

For some reason, Jake had this idea of creating some group for us all to chat in. For some reason he still has the group from his old job… why would you keep that?? The task to do that would fall onto Aleesha, as Jake couldn’t be assed, and, no one else was that bothered about it. Sounds about right. I wasn’t too keen on the idea. I hate group chats, you get a ton of unimportant spam and rubbish in the middle of everything. So, I, initially refused. Until it became an everyday “get it installed”, jobbie, so, I caved and it was done. Since the creation of the group, nothing of any substance has been made using it, and, even during the night out, everyone ignored it, so, it was practically and literally a waste of time making it for the night out. But, before you knew it, that day had arrived.

Dreadful “stolen” food, back and forth, to, where is everyone?

The decision was made to have the night out on a Friday, straight after work. Which was, a joy. It meant that, essentially, at least I was, everyone would be knackered before the beginning. But, more importantly, I needed something for tea. As Aleesha has a weird unhealthy obsession with Wetherspoons, no idea why, that was where we started. So, due to this, I knew I had to get myself some Food.

I’m not saying the Wetherspoons Fish and Chips has ever been that amazing, it’s not, but, it’s typically good enough. You’ll recall I once did a comparison of Fish and Chips during my Birthday week, as I’m literally a connoisseur, of course. However, whilst I regularly complain about the Chips in the Cleck one, these were absolutely awful. Did I eat them? Well, most of them, but, even the Fish was far from cooked. It’s a good job I don’t get chicken. So, there I was just attempting to eat something to make myself feel a little better. Another example of food not being cooked came when they ordered a Pizza whilst I was eating, it looked more like flatbread. 🫓

Then, came something truly unforgivable. I’m not talking about the place. I’m not talking about the food, for the most part, though, I did make it clear to all that could hear I wasn’t happy. But, whilst saying that the Fish and Chips weren’t great, Gian decided to just help himself… with his Fork he’d used to cut up his uncooked Pizza! I was NOT happy about this! Maybe in Italy, they regularly steal people’s food whilst eating, but, that was like, how bluddy dare you! Luckily, if you would call it that, I’d barely have anything left, but, are you for real?

One cancels, two added, then the same one comes anyway…

The irony of the complaints being towards Gian, was that he wasn’t even supposed to be there on the night out. He was supposed to have a date. Due to this, Jake had decided to invite two from the other Team, the one in the other room. So, we’d end up with two people, who’s names I cannot remember, but, one was bald with a beard, and, one reminded me of Kai. (we’ll get to, actually, Kai later)

So, whilst I was finishing my Food, obviously including drinks we were all consuming, we’d quite the group of 8. Although, that would, progressively get a lot smaller. So, whilst, I was thinking ohh no the group is bigger with people I didn’t, initially, want included. In the end, it’s probably a good thing they did come.

A shrinking group, for… two places??

Yeahhhh…. For a night out that was presented with such grand-du-pa, promises galore of a wild time… in reality, turned into us going to a Wetherspoons, another pub with a pool table, to, return to the same Wetherspoons for the last drink. It wasn’t long after returning, that I, then, decided to go home. Plus, call me a cheapskate, but, I wanted to bus home 😁. Although, if I’m honest, that, kinda, was a good thing for me. I’m not a nightclub guy anyway, as I’m not 17 with fake-ID. Plus, straight after work, I’d prefer the idea of a bit less wo-hoo and more, sit down, or, standing with a conversation. Geez, I’m getting old.

Once we’d had the one, that turned into two, at the first, the decision was made as to whether we’d go next. Well, everyone wanted a game of Pool, so, it turned out there was a Pub with a Pool table at walking distance so we’d all go…. ohh. Yeahhh. Sidra and Esther decided to “go for a walk”, which turned into, them just going home unannounced. We attempted to message them on the completely useful Group chat, they ignored, so, that was -2. Then, ohhh, the man who we thought we wouldn’t get, who, we got, got a random call, so, he was off two, by Gian… -3.

So, quite frankly, if Jake hadn’t invited two extras to the night out, it would only be three of us left. Good job he did, in the end. Plus, they weren’t too bad, actually. It’s ironic, looking back, but the first guy I was talking to about how much notice period I need to give to quit this job. I thought, at the time, he was just knowledgeable as it was a Manager there, but, turns out, he was leaving and went on Friday 21st. The other guy, as I mentioned earlier, was very Kai-like. He plays Dungeons and Dragons, has a weird philosophical mind of conversion, and, well, actually, looked a bit like a shaved Kai too. This was good, as, it meant I knew how to talk to him, if that makes sense.

Once we arrived at the next Pub, we all got a very expensive drink, served by someone who definitely wasn’t a woman, and went to the Pool tables. It doesn’t seem 5 minutes ago, since you could go to a Pool table with your 50p, you’d park it on the table, which was code for when it was your turn, and, that was that. Today, though, they want a fiver! £5 for two games, madness. The only positive to this, was, I didn’t end up paying for any of the games, though I did get matched up in one of them. Annoyingly, I was the unlucky one that got the best player there… go figure. Though, I’ll say this, in the end, I only had one colour left to pot, before they got the black. So it was close, in the end.

It was, at this point, when we all started wondering whether any of the lost 3 were going to come back… spoiler alert, they didn’t. So, it was just us. So, yeah, after a couple drinks in that one, after we’d all finished with Pool, we ended right back where we started. Of course now, it was much later, so, bounces were there, they were stamping people’s hands and everything. Never stamped us, though, which is good. They’re a bugger to rub off, those things. Once inside, we, attempted, to find a seat.

I just realised, at that point, though, that apart from buying my own individually, I’d not actually got a round for anyone, so far. Well, I was a bit lucky with that one, as once we got back to that Spoons, it was only me, Jake and pretend-Kai there, so far, so, I was more than up for getting that round instead. Got away with that 😁. To be honest, it was, generally, us three making the majority of the conversation, with occasional inclusions of the other guy.

Time to go

I didn’t know what to expect when this night out was arranged. The only real major night out I’ve had recently was when I went to York with Rob and co. I don’t, generally, like them. I’m not the kind of guy who gets much from a night out of constant drinking for hours on end. The only lone exception, is if that’s the only way I’m going to see people I’ve not seen in a while. But, this was a one-off, so, I put up with it.

In the end, it was rather disappointing, for the most part. Mostly as everyone vanished in the midst of the night, but, also, generally. I would not have been bothered if we’d just, instead, gone for a Meal then I’d head home. But, it happened, so, we’ll leave it at that.

Then, before I knew it, I had the Wife on the ol’ blower, checking when I was going home in her perfectly not-aggressive way… checked the time and though, you know what… might as well just get the next bus from here. Ended up taking the bus and getting home after 11pm. So, yeah, I was home rather early to say it was a night out, but, surely that would mean no further conflict with the misses.

Ahh, if only life was more simple. But, before we get all that…

An opportunity finally comes around

As I made clear, before, I was never going to be working at that job for a long time. It didn’t pay enough, and, even if I had to stay, I wouldn’t be able to get through Hannah’s Visa without loopholes and compromises, so, it was never going to be ideal. So, there I was, applying, whilst still working, something I’ve never ever done before. So, how did it go? Well, the heading probably gives that away. But, that certainly wasn’t the experience… initially.

It all began pretty out of the blue, really. I remember just going to a break in my, now, last job, think it was the final one of the day, just checking emails and notifications, as you do, when you’re rather bored. Then, and I’ve no idea why, something told me to check my Junk folder and… ohhh, there it was, an Interview invite. First thing’s first, let’s stop those emails going to my junk, then, remind myself of what I’d actually applied for. Let’s be honest, no one remembers when you get one, can’t be just me. It didn’t take me long reading through the job itself to go, ahh, I really should go for this, but, how? At this point, I was in the middle of training and needed to find a way to be available on the coming Friday morning (think it was Monday or Tuesday I got this). Either way, I knew I was in a position where I had to accept it. So, in the end, I did, then, I’d have to worry about excuses later.

The interview process

You know when you just have a feeling? Well, it wasn’t just a “maybe check your Junk email”, there was something about this job that just made me feel like I just had to get to that first interview. It’s worth pointing out, I’d already been doing telephone interviews, sometimes even whilst at work, for other positions, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t trying elsewhere, either. This one, however, was a lot more literal. I needed to be available for 1 hour, realistically, at home, for a video interview. Thankfully, as the Interview was at 9am, I was able to make a few rather easy excuses, so had time to get this done, then, taxi up to the other job in time for it not to look too suspicious.

For something like an Interview, it’s very hard to hide from people you live with. And, you could say it was proving hard to hide from people I was working with, too. This is an issue for me, as there’s so many jinx’s I find when it comes to getting a job. I needed to make sure my Mum didn’t know, so she couldn’t curse it by saying “good luck”, and, generally, to keep it rather schtum. Sounds weird, but, trust me, there’s yet to be a job I’ve ever got, where my Mum has said “good luck” before, where I’ve actually got it. So, got my Suit ready, put it on, and got into position. Another inconvenience that actually ran throughout the process with this job was that with every single occasion I needed to do something, Hannah was home. So… yeah, she needed to go. Then, before you knew it, it was time.

So, how’d it go? Honestly, surprisingly well. I don’t know what expectations I really had in this one, but, something just clicked from the start. I’m not going to say it went perfectly, it didn’t, but, I just seemed to be able to find my voice. I think what helped me was the fact I’d already got a job to fall back on. Sure, it would have come with a lot of compromise with Hannah’s Visa, but, we had a way in the worst case scenario. So, due to that, it, slightly, reduced the pressure and helped in the end. Obviously, I knew I wasn’t going to actually get a decision yet, and, I would be just one of many, but, I was feeling cautiously optimistic. Something that isn’t like me, normally. I got told to give them a week, then they’d let me know, the usual bla-bla from most places that rarely comes true. But, I was ready to give them that time.

The weekend went, the next week began then something rather wild happened on Wednesday, again, in the late afternoon. I had an invite for a second Interview, whooo! This is good and happening on Thursday … wait, the day after? Yeah! Talk about short notice. Normally, I’d be like, well, lets see if I can get a better date, but, because this was a job that I actually wanted, I felt like I just had to accept their time to make the best impression. Then, before I knew it, I’m back to excuses. Yep, not even a week after doing it before, there I was again, at home starting my day with another Interview. Returning to my jinx’s, again, I’d left my suit jacket, and everything, at the back of my chair in my room, throughout the entire process. In my mind, I’d decided that if I dared to wash it, move it, anything, that would result in me not getting it. So, it never moved. Then, came the morning after.

Obviously, passing the first interview felt really good, and now being in the second one, I was starting to wonder whether I should begin getting my hopes up. The second interview was a lot more illiterate than the first. The first was who are you, can you do this, tell me about that, with the typical scenario popping questions that are irrelevant, to test you. This one, was very, here’s what we do, how we do it, how does that relate to you. Which, actually, I liked. It gave me plenty of time to express what I knew and put what I know in a more relatable context for them. One thing I STILL, to this day, hate about getting a new job is just how old fashioned the whole process is. So, it was good I was able to actually spell it out. I decided to be completely honest, in both I can do, and, more importantly, I cannot. Something I can tell they appreciated. It was both daunting, and, rather exciting, when they were speaking about some of the incredible opportunities, they had moving forward, including traveling the world with this job. Obviously, this isn’t the one I was applying for, but, the thought of that was very exciting.

Then came something unusual. At the close of the Interview, which, by the way, was very short, they asked me to go away and talk about the job with my Wife and family, then, come back to them to check if I was still interested. It threw me off, initially, as I was like, well, obviously I’m interested. I even said so, fairly immediately and they were like, oh, in that case, we’ll begin reference checks. Then, the Interview closed. This put me in a strange rut, because, on one hand they’d ask me to get back to them about being interested, whilst, I’d, already, told them I was interested. Again, I was told to give them a week. But, when we got the weekend, I felt like I just had to send them something, so, I did and expressed my interest in a message. This was then, responded to, a few days later on the following Wednesday. You can imagine, I’m terrified to even read the message as this is, allegedly, the decision, so, it actually took me about 30 minutes to dare to open it. But, what I was left with was, essentially, to wait a bit longer as references are taking longer. I responded with some help, to get them quicker (turned out that was a waste of time, we’ll get to why), and then came a bit more of a wait. So, I’d accepted that I wasn’t going to hear this week, but, that message, at least, gave me a continued hope that the chance would come, eventually.

Then, it happened.

The decision

If you can believe it, weeks after the first interview, I still had my suit behind my chair, I mean, you can’t be too careful with jinx’s. By this point, also, we’d all fully started in my, now, previous, job, including the option to work from home, so that made things a bit easier. Especially when, on Monday, I received an invite for, yet another, Interview. Yep, this would be Interview number 3! So, told them I’d be working from home, basically, with time, rather easily, to fit this in at the start. Being realistic, it, obviously, was a good sign that it was an Interview, again. I mean, you’d like to think they wouldn’t do an Interview to say, no. But, who knows these days. Got Hannah to go downstairs, got my Suit on from behind my chair, and, well, how’d it go?

Well, initially, it was rather worrying. It was rather odd that this was an 8am, not, 9am, Interview, and, it turns out, that was weird for everyone else as no one was there when I started the call. 5 past? No one. 10 past? No one, still. I was getting a bit worried. Eventually I got a message saying to just hold on. Yeah, apparently, it was supposed to be 9am, but, someone got the time wrong. Not my fault, but, just meant a delay. So, heart pounding longer than ever, it was finally able to begin. It turned out, in reality, they’d had quite the rollercoaster. Reassuringly, apparently, I was, always, the only really suitable candidate for the job. Don’t think that’s ever happened, before. But, there was a problem. When this one job position opened up, it was opened up as someone was retiring. They don’t hire externally very often, but, did so to, obviously, find a suitable replacement with all the training and planning in place to make sure that the job could be done. But, then, someone internally, decided to apply for the same position I was. Naturally, being internal, they’d need less training, they’d be already prepared. So, as you imagine, I’m waiting for the punchline that this is why I didn’t get the job. To which I’d be like, well, thanks for telling me, and, goodbye, right?

Well, no. Somehow, we made it! One of the Chief higher ups who was in all the Interviews, and, others apparently, fought for me to still get the job. So, actually, they’d now be two starting, me, and that other. So, yeah, damn, I couldn’t believe it. I still can’t, even as I’m typing this, really. It’s a great wage, perfect working environment for me, with opportunities in the future. Bring it on, I say. So, before I knew it, I was signing Contracts.

So, yeah, a week or so has passed since then, but, I’ve had all the reassurances that we’re all good to go for September 1. Bring it on. The PC for me to work with, however, is delayed, so, I’ll be virtually connecting in with my Mac, which is new, but, other than that, we’re all good 😁.

Time to go, more, literally

Barely a week had passed since a work night out, but, all of a sudden, here I was announcing I was going to be leaving for good. Yep, after getting the confirmation that I now had a new job with a better wage and… well, everything else, compared to the other, it was now time to do what needed to be done. Although, I didn’t, quite, expect it to go quite the way it did.

As with most jobs, you have catch-ups with your Manager, especially early on, to check on how you’re getting on. Well… this went, very differently to what he was expecting. Whilst he was about to go through targets, how things are getting on, etc, then, is there anything I can do to support you… here I was going, well, I’m off! OK, obviously, I didn’t do it, quite, like that, but, generally, that was how it went. Initially, I needed to get confirmation on what the notice period was. At this point, I’d got two weeks until starting the new position, however, I’d already made the decision to give myself a clean week to prepare and chill. So, before I knew it, I’d, just about a week left to go.

Now, you can only keep the fact you’re applying for jobs, going to interviews, etc, private for so long. Some were aware, out of my colleagues, but, even so, when I finally had an end date, they were rather surprised. It was kind of sweet to see that they were actually disappointed, really. But, my mind was set, I needed to put life first, and, generally, I was already done with that place at this point. Although, things wouldn’t quite be as they were originally anticipated. The day after, I was told, I needed to use up all my holiday accrued time, so, I’d actually be finishing the Wednesday morning after. I was, actually, over the moon, as I wasn’t particularly bothered anymore, about any of the work I was doing there.

The final day came, quicker than you’d expect, really. Did a very easy morning of transfer, but, then, everyone was stuck in a call. So, in the end, I’d have to wait for that so I could say my proper goodbyes to everyone. Then, obviously, I was off. As Hannah wasn’t working that day, I thought it made sense to meet up for the afternoon and do something. Not sure whether that was the right decision, in the end, but, hey. For some reason, she was gloomy all day, tired, and, the plan for the day ended up not happening anyway. If I knew that before, I wouldn’t have bothered. I was more annoyed at how she was pressuring me to leave whilst I was trying to say goodbye to everyone. But, that’s just Hannah. She’d kill me if I did anything like that to her.

Then, that was it. I left for the last time. Said the usual, we’ll see each other again, which, 99.9% of the time is bullshit, then, headed off. Although, to be fair, we actually would be seeing them again, as they wanted to do a little leaving thing. Not particularly bothered about it, myself, but, with enough on it, just going to do a little thing at the end of the month. We’ll get to that.

Not the best of times together…

It all began following the first work night out, quite literally as we’re talking the night I came home, onwards. Something seemed to trigger within Hannah. Something I really hope, for our relationship’s sake, I don’t see again. Well, it all comes down to that Philippines specialty you find in Filipinas, jealousy. She claims not, but, it clearly was. However, unlike any reasonable situation where this would be valid, or, at least, some form of plausible shade of seeing it from her perspective, this was just pure stupidity. For some reason, because the night out was being arranged by a woman that means I’m clearly together and doing things together with them … I wish I was joking. So, completely unannounced, she started being an absolute ass from the second I got home that Friday night, to all weekend, ignoring me for days, at this point unknown as to why. Weekend ruined, with just conversations of patheticness along the way. “You’ll be mad if I tell you”, she finally confessed as a response on the Sunday night when I’d had enough asking why she was acting like that. She was right, because it was so, so, stupid. All whilst she was simultaneously trying to hack into my WhatsApp from afar to check for any unbeknownst gotcha stuff. Just pathetic, really. In the end, after shaking some sense into her, she got over it, but I was not happy.

Now, if that was it, then, OK, fine… well, it’s not, but you know what I mean. A one time blip, you can get over. But, oh no, she took the same situation even further! I was getting to the point of wondering whether it was even worth it anymore. Apparently, if I get a notification and I don’t immediately give a shit about it, that means I’m hiding something now… Who knew. And, as it, so happened, to be from someone without a dick, that means the world is over and true insanity must follow once again. We’re talking rings left on the table, a written letter of goodbye, holy crap. Let me make one thing very clear, here. This is based on absolutely nothing. Flirtation? Nope. Suggestive actions? Nope. Even a single percent of attraction to any other person involved? Nope. This was all in her head. I was done. To be clear, if this repeats, I will be. I’ve never once before got that close to completely ending our relationship, I’m being completely serious here. There’s absolutely no future in any relationship if you can break yourself to that level of breaking point over completely nothing but her own mind playing tricks on her and creating hyperbole over scenarios that never even happened, or, even were hinted at the smallest of levels. I’ve had a relationship with an emotional psychotic woman, wasted years of my life thinking things would change (they don’t, by the way), so if there’s any hint Hannah is heading anyway close to that direction, I’m out for good. I’m not getting any younger, so I’m not wasting my life with someone who chooses to act that way, not worth anything to continue that.

Next year is a huge year for me and Hannah. A very bluddy expensive one too! From Hannah’s Visa, to the huge Japan trip. None of them will happen if this year experiences anything, even close, to this again. Might sound dramatic, but, it’s true. I learned a lot from my waste of time previous, unfortunately learned it far too late, but, I learned not to waste your life over someone who doesn’t appreciate, love, and trust you where they need to. I love Hannah more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my entire life. We wouldn’t be Married if that was anything less. But, if we cannot get through barely a year where we are today, before life has really taken off and got complex, real, and actually hard, then, how the heck do you think we’re going to be going forward when reality kicks in? Exactly. Relationships have tiffs, they have arguments, because that’s what humans do. But, this, though, is unacceptable. Hannah knows it is, and, I hope to never have to mention it again.

Now, let’s lift that mood again with something positive 😁

Studio Ghibli themed Café in York

Me and Hannah are pretty big fans of Studio Ghibli. Whilst it was, initially, Hannah that got me into it, you can’t really deny the charm and wonder of Japanese anime, in general, really. That’s not to say everything that’s had the Studio Ghibli brand has been flawless, looking at you Pompoko …Yamadas … Ponyo … OK, they’ve had a few not great ones. But, to try and save them here, no one can deny how iconic My Neighbor Totoro is, and Spirited Away is a cult classic. My favourite is actually The Cat Returns. Where is this all going? Well once me and Hannah got Married, we always said that for our Honeymoon we’d travel to Japan. For Hannah it would be for Ghibli, for me it would be for Pokémon. But, what if we could have a taste of that Studio Ghibli brand here in the UK? Well, after getting a tip-off from someone at work, it turns out there’s actually a Café, come, anime shop, in York which has a pretty big focus on Studio Ghibli (and others). So, we just had to go. So, when the opportunity arose, we did.

Finally utilising our 2-together Railcard

You know you’re getting old when you’re first focus on a day out is getting a discount on the travel, but, hey, it’s about time we took advantage of this. I’ve been a member of Monzo Perks (and Max, when travelling) and have taken advantage of near-everything that comes with that £7* per month (*like everything else, it is going up soon). The free Cinema ticket, on it’s own, makes it pay for itself. But, if there’s one thing that I’ve not used yet, it’s the free Railcard. Obviously, I’m not an OAP, not a kid, and, not a Student, so that leaves only one final Railcard left I could even get, which is the 2-together Railcard. So, got signed up. As a result, if I travel with Hannah, we can both get up to 33% off “some” Tickets. I did notice when it came to going to York, it didn’t discount the most popular route at all, but, did discount the more expensive and faster route.

It was nice to be traveling on a Train with Hannah again, seems like forever since we last did. It’s mad, but, 2026 has been the most simultaneously busy, yet, not busy, year we’ve both ever had, weird really. So, it’s good to just step away from all that and have a good time. Once we caught the Train, we were off. The journey there was actually rather quiet, thankfully, so was able to get a Seat rather pain-free. Always good to not have to go all-mercy on everyone when those doors open.

Barely 30 minutes of Train and we were there. I’ll say this, it was bluddy warm outside in York. Obviously, we’ve been to York together a few times, so, as far as seeing the sights of York was concerned, there wasn’t really anything there to do. Although, we did try checking out a Yorkshire Museum, until we saw the absolute joke of an entry price, OVER £20 EACH! I wouldn’t mind, but, the building was tiny, and, from the outside-looking-in, looked rubbish. So, we took a few pictures in the outdoor park, then, was ready for off. Target locked; the Anime Café.

Arriving and checking out the decor.

Say what you like about Anime, and, how uncool you could say the typical fan is, but, there’s NOTHING else like going to an Anime store. A football shop is just boring posters and clothes, a music shop is boring posters, records, and instruments, an Anime store is the full experience. Everything is unique and made to feel special. Don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t the best one in the world, but, even with its limited size and resource, still made for such an impact when checking the place out.

Even before entering the building, it became clear that this was a lot more than just some Ghibli-themed Café, this was a full-on Japanese Anime-themed Store. First thing I noticed was Luffy from One Piece, including the Ship emblem, and some lesser-known others. Once we walked inside, it was, on one hand, a bit disappointing as it was a lot smaller than how the photos made you feel. But, despite this, we still loved every second of checking it out. Quite a bit of Pokémon stuff, too, but that clearly wasn’t the priority. I’d say the first floor was definitely all about One Piece, and, then, anything else. Upstairs, as we’d find out later, was 100% all about Ghibli.

Unfortunately, this was the whole extent of merch from the series “The Apothecary Diaries”, but, still nice to see the main characters, Maomao and Jinshi, represented.

It was also good to see that it wasn’t just the main setters of Anime that were found, we were particularly impressed to see Jinshi and Maomao from The Apothecary Diaries, even if only as glass stands. Then, of course, the focus went to why Hannah was so interested in coming here; the Studio Ghibli stuff. Even on the first floor there was quite a few things Hannah wanted, and, subsequently, would leave with. She’d been looking for a new lanyard, and, once she saw a My Neighbor Totoro bag, there was no way she was not walking out with it. I have to say, considering these were all official merch, the prices weren’t actually that bad. So, Hannah would end up leaving with that bag, as well as a new lanyard. But, not before checking out upstairs. This was where the real experience was.

If I wasn’t paying much attention, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that we could have completely missed the upstairs. It’s not obvious or clearly marked at all. I actually thought it was a Staff only area, at first, but, once I looked upstairs it became clear we could actually go up. But we knew there had to be something, as it was supposed to house a Café, which definitely wasn’t anywhere downstairs. This might explain why the Café was quiet, most of the time, as no one had found it. Once you do discover it, even from the walk up the steps you get really taken in by the feels it gives. Then, once up top, there it was, the Café with a ton of life-sized, and, more, figurines and merchandise all from Studio Ghibli productions. It was pretty awesome to see.

As for the Café itself… well, let’s just say the only reason we got something was because of the evil eyes we were getting from the worker there. Hannah literally just got water and what turned out to be a very bad chocolate. Before we were able to settle and take everything in, and, before Hannah could start her photoshoot, people seem to just all-of-a-sudden arrive, which didn’t help. But, to be fair, that was it as far as what the place offered. Despite this, though, I think Hannah had a good time.

The rest of the day would consist of some awful burned Sausage Rolls from some clearly-not-women, aimless walking about, and a very over-priced Thai shop, not to mention breaking the toilet rules at Costa. Fun times. Then, we headed back to take the Train home.

Well, I tried getting her Lechon…

Ever since moving to the UK, Hannah has, I think it’s fair to say, settled in rather well. Sure, there’s been some adjustments, but, all-in-all, she’s becoming quite the Brit. Definitely better than the scum our rubbish Government gives freebies too… But, no matter what happens, no matter how good the days, or, weeks, maybe, there’s always one topic that always comes up for Hannah. Food. Specifically, Philippine’s food. Well, I thought I would take actions into my own hands and try to get her something extra special.

Don’t get me wrong, most of what Hannah eats from the Philippines actually is available in the UK. There are so many Stores dedicated to Asian cuisine, from Chinese, Thai, and, yes, the Philippines. So, whether it’s Pancit Canton, to a sip of Calamansi, there’s always been ways for her to get a taste of home. Of course, when it comes to something more fuller, it’s down to Hannah to cook. But, I’m not talking about tinned foods, drinks, noodle packs, etc, what about a famous Philippines cuisine of choice? I’m, of course, referring to Lechon.

There’s actually a surprising number of places in the UK that are dedicated to just providing traditional Philippines-style Lechon. Granted, most of them are in random locations outside of London. So, as we live nowhere near that shithole, we have to resort to online. One of the most popular of those choices, and, recommended, was Uncle Pinoy. So, that’s what I went for. Of course, you could go all-out and get the full-on pig, but, just to check if it was actually any good, I decided to go for the smallest portion, a 1KG batch of Lechon belly. In the end, I think I made the right choice…

Once it arrived, it was time to check it out. Hannah, I think, set very high expectation in anticipation about what it’d be like. And, well… I think that was mostly in vain. One easy way to tell if Hannah doesn’t like any food, she’ll just give a down look, then just go “… it’s alright”. Translation; that means, it’s awful. I think, in general, we just couldn’t figure out how to cook it. In the end, I think Hannah would’ve probably preferred it if I’d just got some Pork Belly from Tesco, in the end. Hannah likes Lechon, but, this just simply wasn’t it. So, despite the personally written messages by them, and the included broken Pen that came with it, ended up giving Uncle Pinoy a rather low rating.

Shame, really, but, I’m sure there’ll be future attempts to get some in the UK. Strange, as I’m sure this was the one that Jean recommended… although, in reality all of them sound the same, by name, so, could be wrong. We probably will end up shopping there again, as, they also, sell a ton of Philippines stuff for delivery, other than cooked Lechon, but, we’ll be, certainly, avoiding that going forward.

A second, kinda, “work” night out

Following the blistering success of the first one … OK, maybe not, it was about time we had a second one … OK, also, maybe not. Reality is, I wouldn’t have been bothered if we never had another, but, things just worked out differently. Well, I suppose one improvement with this one was that instead of starting as a 6, which then progressively reduced, this one we just started as we ended. So, just the 3 of us this time, from the beginning to the end. Believe it or not, that’s an improvement. I don’t think a whole week had passed since the first night out, until I announced that I was going to be leaving the job for good. Kinda crazy, really. As a result of this, it became pretty clear, following this, the idea of a potential leaving do. Originally, it was a case of, “Ohh, a few others are leaving too, so, why not join them”, to which, I thought… well, no! Don’t even know who most of them are. So, that was that, right? Well, it turns out I wouldn’t be getting out of it that easily as I got calls to get a day arranged. So, once the date was settled, the last Friday in August, pay day, it was time to go.

Unfortunately, as per the end of the first one, no Sidra and Esther… again. Even though they did say they could’ve done the following, but I couldn’t. Gian was coming, until … the very last minute, when he suddenly wasn’t. Probably for the best, really. Just like the first one, a date was his, initial, reason for being absent. I feel like if he had come, it would’ve been a long night of loud music, nightclubs and general meh. So, for me, personally, I was glad he didn’t. So, begs the question, what did we actually do?

Games, drink, sing, more games 🎱🎤🕹️

Just like the first night out, the meeting point was right outside the previous job, once everyone had finished. Unlike last time, obviously, I wasn’t actually working there. Due to it being Friday, most people weren’t even at the office, so, didn’t really get to see anyone who wasn’t going on the night out, really, with the exception of Gian who basically showed up, to say goodbye. Then, the two that would be part of the night, Jake and Aleesha, making it just the three of us. All of this, of course, not before a quick nip into McDonalds to see Hannah, looking as unhappy to see me, as always, to get a quick bite to eat. I’d learned my lesson last time to not get Fish and Chips from the Spoons in Leeds as, amazingly, as we clarified earlier, they’re a lot worse than Cleck.

We kicked things off by walking, generally, in a straight line, from where the work was over to the Boom Bar in Leeds. It’s a place I’ve always seen, but, never gone to. So, in a way, I was quite interested to see what it was like inside. One thing I will say about it, it sure ain’t cheap! An hour of Karaoke… £24 for you, a game of Pool… that’s over a tenner, drinks average about £6-7 each. Ouch. They also had some very unusual games like Axe throwing, “Crazier” Golf, which looked rubbish, to be honest. In the end, we stuck to Pool and Karaoke.

The Pool wasn’t the best as it was American Pool. Call me old-fashioned, but I’m not as big of a fan of being stripes or solid, versus, yellow and red, but, that’s just me. The Brit in me will always hate the American comparative. Even though, in reality, it had not been that long, it was nice to have a catch-up with Jake and Aleesha. Well, more with Jake as we have similar humour, so tend to get on very easily. Those two have such a love-hate relationship, though, one minute we’re all part of the same banter and joke, next minute they’re all complaining and ranting at each other. I will say this, with the Pool, you really just get given the cues, so, you can realistically do as many games as you like. It wasn’t that busy, so, we played over the allocated hour, in the end. Despite Jake being rather hesitant to do it, I think mostly due to the transparent walls of the booth, me and Aleesha took over and booked an hour of Karaoke. It’s ironic, really, as you can’t stop Jake singing, normally. This time, he was rather shy. But, eventually, we all just didn’t take each other seriously and sang … well, me and Jake did. Aleesha took the role of the sit in the corner, mock, but, not join in, game. We led off with our version of Every Breathe You Take, an inside joke from the first week where Jake just repeated the title in every line as he forgot the rest… you had to be there. We even did Mysterious Girl, but, mostly, to perform as those did on The X Factor. Iconic audition. Then it was time for the next place to go. Jakes was all night-club, night-club, I was like … ugh.

In the end, we did end up on the road towards nightclubs, but, ended up at a Retro Gaming Bar. Something I wasn’t expecting. Think the kind of places me and Hannah used to go to in the Philippines, where you spend a million on coupons and just play. They had the same kinda Basketball throwing, but, also, anything from Pacman to PS2, to N64, to Guitar Hero, and more. This would, in the end, be where the night would end. Thankfully. I’m not saying I didn’t have a good time, I did, but, I’m not someone who wants to be going home, essentially, the next day. Was stuck, initially, on how many Coupons to get, in the end I went middle-for-diddle and got the £20 one. Good job I did, really, as we were struggling to use what we’d got, the one up was a lot more. Yes, you got a lot more Coupons but it’s a waste if you don’t use them.

Once we were done, we headed outside for them two to have a smoke. We were all in pretty good spirits, by the end. Although, I thought Jake was going to cry when I said I was heading off in about 20 minutes. I’d looked at the Bus times and was like, yeah, I’m ready. Aleesha took the hint, so, before you knew it was booking a Cab. We saw her off, then, Jake went to get something to eat while I did a slow stroll down to the Bus stop. So yeah was a pretty awesome night out, I’d say. It’s funny as, once again, I’d set rather low expectations, but, ended up enjoying myself. Whether we’ll do another one, time will tell, but, if it’s generally the same deal, no reason to blog it, but, I’m, personally, glad it was just the 3 of us. As I said, before, if Gian had some, the night would have just been crazy in a bad way, and, I, even think, if the other two had come too it might not have been the same. Some like a big crowd, I prefer a small one.

Headed to the Bus stop with a couple of minutes left to wait, headed in and headed home. Was a good opportunity to finally give a listen to the new Jonathan Bree album. It’s really good, if, not, dodgy in some songs. Musically really good, the message can be questionable but I love it. Made me think about potentially returning to doing music reviews on BEHANN, in a more personal way than I used to do with RKUK Media, just a thought. Watch this space, I’ll start with this one.

Thankfully, once I did get home and saw Hannah, no drama this time, when I got home, which, whilst it shouldn’t have to be, was a relief.

The future’s becoming clearer

It’s fair to say that this year’s been a bit of a slow one. I mean, sure, we’re not at the end of the year just yet, but, it’s undeniable that this has been a pretty slow year. Or, more accurately, a slow second half. We kicked off the year with everything happening all in 3 months, not to mention an unwanted War interfering. Then, not long after I found myself in London. After that, though? Yeahhh, nothing to report. As a result of this, Hannah has completely forgotten it’s actually less than 6 months since she was in the Philippines, despite wanting to go back, and, the boredom of life is taking its tole. But, slowly, things are starting to take shape… Of course, the big reason why life has slowed down has been due to the waiting process to get where we need to be. The process of moving between employment, the range of pressures and preparations for Hannah’s big Visa next year, and, more, have just led to the majority of the year being very still. But, I think that’s all about to change and things are starting to come clearer.

I’m not saying there’s probably not going to be another blog this year, but, I think it’s becoming clearer and clearer that the next time anything big happens, most likely will be next year. But, with 2026 being the year to get all those foundations in place, once we get that final Visa out of the way, with everything in place, I’m daring to feel optimistic that we’re now where we need to be in all the key areas for that year to deliver where it counts, these includes;

INCOME: Obviously, in the world of capitalism, you can’t avoid working, but, more importantly has been gaining Income that exceeds the requirements for Hannah’s Visa and to be employed for 6 months prior to the application next year. Now I’m set to begin this next job, we should be all good to go. Also, it’s finally looking like Hannah is getting more opportunities, too, so, hopefully we’re both starting to get where we need to be there. Although, when it comes to Hannah, the pressure really isn’t there, I’m the one that’s been panicking. But, we’re on track.

HONEYMOON: The big standout moment for us in 2027, without a shadow of a doubt, will be our Honeymoon. We got Married in 2024, and always said that we’d have our Honeymoon in Japan. But, let’s be honest, if we’re going to Japan for our Honeymoon, I’m accepting nothing less, than to do everything on our lists. I don’t want to be in a position where we’re thinking, hmm we can’t really do that, or, can’t afford to get this, I want us to do all we want to do and create a lifetime of memories. We deserve to as our Wedding in the Philippines was, for one for a better word, shit! As far as Savings are concerned, I’m ready, but, we need to get past Hannah’s Visa. But the moment we have, set the dates, then, we’ll be off.

LIFE ADVANCEMENTS: I know I’ve mentioned this a ton of times, but, I’ll never forget that conversation I had once at my old work, discussing where I was after 8 years of my last relationship. Went through the collection of things you’d expect to have done, or, be at, from that time and being unable to check anything. As far as me and Hannah are concerned, yeah, there’s plenty that can be checked, but, when it comes to what I’m categorising “Life advancements”, yeah, we’re still early days with that. But, you know what? That’s fine, because we’ve achieved everything we could, up to this point. However, that’s going to begin to change next year. What type of advancements am I talking about? Well, driving, for a start, I’d like to get checked off. Working in Leeds makes Driving an, almost, pointless, endeavour, but, now I’m not going to be, let’s begin that journey. Then, of course, once we’ve closed Hannah’s Visa, once and for all; look into getting our own place. Obviously, the latter has zero chance of happening in 2027, but, the driving and others, I’m committed to doing, so, watch this space.

Other bits and bats…

That’s about it, for now, I’d say. It’s funny, I always do this, I start a blog saying “ohhh nothing has happened”, then, post a long one, but to be fair the majority was just hyperbole about what’s the plan next year and it’s pretty exciting once we get there. I thought I’d just end with some smaller things that didn’t require a full post section just to run over and have a natter over.

One rather amusing, but, troubling for Larry, thing, that’s begun to happen recently is Hannah’s new fondness for, pretty much, any other cat she can find. Despite us all having Larry, who, at the best of times, isn’t the most social of cats, but, he’s accepted her, Hannah has more interests elsewhere. There’s a few fluffy cats nearby on another street, one of which is on the left, Hannah has target locked wanting to steal them. I can see why, they’re very fluffy and I bet they feel incredible to stroke and take care of. And, closer to home, in some cases, literally, there’s a dark grey cat which she’s made her best friend. Poor Larry.

Unrelated, but with all these plans for our Honeymoon, next year, I have to say I found it very surprising when browsing on the Facebitch and came across that Kai had got Married. Geez, when did that happen. I never thought I’d see the day when he tied the knot. Only saw him recently at Rob’s Wedding. Of course, Hannah being in an annoying anti-social mood, didn’t help things be as welcoming as I’d have liked. I don’t know if that’s why I didn’t get an invite. Don’t get me wrong, Weddings are boring days, but, was a bit like … oh, ok. But, all the same, wishing them both all the best for the future. I’m sure we’ll catch up at some point and can say it in person. She’s a great person for him, so, I know they’ll be good.

Oohhh yeah, I broke a Café door handle. Don’t ask me how … OK, I suppose it’s pointless if I don’t, but, there’s really nothing to it. There’s a Café that sells local Ice Cream that Hannah likes. Went there to try and get her some, they had none, so, went out and closed the door. Well, for some reason beyond any reasonable amount of understanding, the door handle just teared off. Remember, this is a metallic handle and there was 90% of the top bit on my hand. Ended up, quite literally, running off. I’ve decided if Hannah wants an Ice Cream, again, she can go herself. I’m not paying for a new door, and, I don’t think I’m wrong that it wasn’t my fault.

But yeah, to close it off, I know this year hasn’t been perfect, a lot of things have been touch and go, me and Hannah’s relationship certainly hasn’t been where I want it to be, and, in general, something she needs to improve going forward. But, I’d say, we’re on track to getting where we need to do soon. If we end the year, definitely a bit more positively than recently, in a good light, then, next year’s plans we’ve briefly highlighted, will be all ready to be. I can’t wait.

Blog 31st August 2026 – Nothing to Something

An over 6 year working journey comes to an end

VPL 1 – Where’s everyone gone.

VPL 2 – We take a risk, but will it pay off

Date changed to September 30th ‼️‼️‼️

Thank you those who kept me sane;

KIM

AI-LING

JEAN

The awkward goodbye, with gifts.

The annoying shift that could’ve prevented it all

A strategic break, with it comes some wastes of time…

A scam of a wage

Turning up to, and, training, in a job I never wanted.

A close-nit group of 6

Night out after the first Payday

Dreadful “stolen” food, back and forth, to, where is everyone?

One cancels, two added, then the same one comes anyway…

A shrinking group, for… two places??

Time to go

An opportunity finally comes around

The interview process

The decision

Time to go, more, literally

Not the best of times together…

Studio Ghibli themed Café in York

Finally utilising our 2-together Railcard

Arriving and checking out the decor.

Well, I tried getting her Lechon…

A second, kinda, “work” night out

Games, drink, sing, more games 🎱🎤🕹️

The future’s becoming clearer

Other bits and bats…

Published by Ben

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An over 6 year working journey comes to an end

VPL 1 – Where’s everyone gone.

VPL 2 – We take a risk, but will it pay off

Date changed to September 30th ‼️‼️‼️

Thank you those who kept me sane;

KIM

AI-LING

JEAN

The awkward goodbye, with gifts.

The annoying shift that could’ve prevented it all

A strategic break, with it comes some wastes of time…

A scam of a wage

Turning up to, and, training, in a job I never wanted.

A close-nit group of 6

Night out after the first Payday

Dreadful “stolen” food, back and forth, to, where is everyone?

One cancels, two added, then the same one comes anyway…

A shrinking group, for… two places??

Time to go

An opportunity finally comes around

The interview process

The decision

Time to go, more, literally

Not the best of times together…

Studio Ghibli themed Café in York

Finally utilising our 2-together Railcard

Arriving and checking out the decor.

Well, I tried getting her Lechon…

A second, kinda, “work” night out

Games, drink, sing, more games 🎱🎤🕹️

The future’s becoming clearer

Other bits and bats…

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Published by Ben

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